People love to make up colorful stories about your life. I'm going to start collecting these stories and putting them in a book so I can remember all that I've done.
Apparently, I've missed entire portions of my life but good news! There's a team of 'experts' who have devoted THEIR lives to studying lil ole me! They pass my history down from generation to generation, they talk about me with their friends, they think of me in their thoughts.
Out of respect, they whisper outside of my presence and behind my back. We certainly wouldn't want to taint their PERCEPTION of my life with the REALITY of my life! I understand and respect this. It can be hard to live a lie when you know the truth. Much better to keep the harm out of truths way, right? (You read that right). smile emoticon
In any event, I must seek out these people who know me so well so they can tell me about myself. I can't wait to see what they've found out about me. I have a TON of questions! I really appreciate these experts thinking I'm important enough to preserve and pass down my life stories, even if they tend to exaggerate and color them up. I adore all the energy and work put into little old me. They MUST be rewarded and publicly acknowledged for their diligent service!
I shall seek them. I shall find them. I shall thank them. Their slander has done much to amuse me!
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