LIFE [in the Spirit] after Death [of the flesh] (part 2 of 2)

BUT GOD! But God brought me out! Like Moses led the Israelites, so He led me!  Yes, He disciplined me. Yes, He made me face my ugly ways, ugly attitude, heck all my ugly stuff! He made me see and admit to my flakiness in Him. And let me know just how displeased He was with my hypocritical ways – especially to others in my life (Matthew 23:23-32). Either I was going to serve God wholeheartedly through the favorable times and the times of testing or I was not. There is NO in between (Revelation 3:15-16). Trust me, those who truly know God aren’t fooled by it anyway and God certainly was not! (1 John 2:3-6).  Even worldly people can come to eventually see through it if you keep it up long enough because if nothing else, God will eventually expose you for the hypocrite you are. (Luke 12:1-3)

Today, I am a new woman in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). My life with Him is beautiful, gracious, peaceful, confident, joyful…filled with love. I am indeed still a work in progress as there will always be things for God to prune and make better as He grows me in His image and the fullness of His power – but I have come to a place I never thought I would be. 1. I love God like never, ever, before. I am in AWE of my Father! (Psalm 42:1) 2. I love myself and see the beauty in the individual God created! I don’t have to compete and compare myself with others out of jealousy/bitterness! I am who I am because God made me this way and I let Him work what He made to His will! (Psalms 139:14) 3. I believe and expect good things and miracles in my life! For a long time I only expected the negative, I didn’t believe in miracles and I was a total pessimist. 

Yes I am one of “those people” who believe the miracles done in the bible are true and can actually be done today through God’s children if we are wholeheartedly devoted to Him! (John 14:12) This place, is a wondrous place. It’s amazing, lovely, so….just…awesome! To walk with God day in and day out – to know without a shadow of a doubt that He is with you and to be able to face the great things with Him is truly a favored place. Being able to accept His discipline in love, knowing it’s to better me, not to harm, condemn and keep me down, is a peaceful place and I am very pleased He allowed me to get here. God never gave up on me and nobody has EVER loved me like that. No. Not. Ever. (1 John 4:9-11)

So, I compel you, if you are in a place where things aren’t going your way and you find that old worldly self-creeping up…you find yourself wanting to rebel against God and refuse His correction/discipline in your life – STOP! Repent! Turn around and go back to the narrow road! The broad road only leads to destruction (Matthew 7:13-14). You only make it worse and prolong your time in the desert when you do these things. You will find yourself alone, broken, hopeless and filled with guilt; then, you will look back over it all and ask “what have I done”? When everything is taken from you –oh, it WILL be taken from you – and God leaves you with the one you love the most (yourself), there is no one left to blame BUT YOU. (Psalms 101:7-8, Proverbs 26:24-26, Psalm 106:43, Psalm 55:23, Proverbs 13: 22)

This whole “favor ain’t fair” people in the world say is totally untrue. God grants favor to those who love and serve Him with a whole heart. It’s not just being passed out to those who aren’t walking in accordance with the will of God (Psalm 5:12). Favor is constant, lasting, and ongoing and it comes with a constant, lasting and ongoing devotion to Him. You can’t have one without the other. You can’t constantly fight against God’s correction in your life to clean up the old things in you that He is not pleased with but, expect to continue to receive His grace - this is exactly what God spoke of when He spoke of the people in Psalms whose hearts were stubborn – you know what He does with those people? After a while, God will give you over to yourself and let you do you (Psalm 81:12)…and I mean let’s be honest, if you could do you so well, you wouldn’t have come running to God in the first place (Ecclesiastes 10:3).

Let go. Accept the correction. Go through the discipline process. Let God do the work He wants to do in you before He renders you ineffective within the Spirit as you operate and feed your flesh. This season is not a season where God is going to beg anyone to come to Him. He is surely separating the wheat from the chaff and just because you dress up like wheat or you connect to wheat doesn’t mean God won’t recognize you as the chaff you are (Matthew 3:12). Seriously, only a dog returns to the vomit – and so do we when we taste the goodness of God but return to the world because we don’t want to endure discipline (2 Peter 2:22). The road is narrow ohhhhh but it’s so beautiful, peaceful and secure over here (Deuteronomy 5:33, Psalm 23) God wants to heal you of all the bondage, pain, and the scars of your sin and yes, healing can hurt but certainly not as much as reopening a wound and digging it deeper by following your own will. Remember:

Favor= Correction. Correction= Discipline. Discipline= healing, trust, peace, joy, and all the fruits of the Spirit if you receive them. (Hebrews 12:11, Romans 5:1-5, Galatians 5:22-23)

I am a living testimony – to this very minute in my life my testimony is still being written and I could tell you some things that would make you say “I don’t blame her for giving up” BUT I REFUSE!!! What a boring story my life would be if I had not endured the things I have! Because of these things the testimony God has given me is powerful! However, heeding His correction and allowing His discipline in my life makes the deliverance all the more powerful! Now, the power He is instilling in me is even greater! But it all started with me surrendering all and accepting the discipline and correction I had to accept from Him.

I pray you heed and receive this word for those who need it. May God add a spiritual blessing to you and grow you in His word, His will and His way that you may be pleasing to Him in all you do and that you may be able to endure until the end so you can stand before Him with confidence and receive the due reward for your faithfulness and not the condemnation that comes with rebellion. In Christ Jesus Name I pray, “I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.” (Ephesians 1:18) Amen and Selah.

I share this song as a portion of my testimony.... don't imitate or be amazed by what you see of me today, it's not me you see, it's God. Yes all of it every bit of it is Him. Even my heeding and accepting Him is HIM because my flesh still battles with wanting to go its own way and do its own thing. Don't look at the finished result and think it has been easy for me..... you don't know my story - even when I tell you a portion, you still don't know the whole story and if you did you'd understand why I love Him so. *sings* "Oh God has been faithful to me, He promised He would never leave me! My story proves that God can use me! My story is my TESTIMONY! You don't know...... my story....." 

But my story is not important, what's yours? Will it end is a crown of righteousness or the shame of condemnation?

LIFE [in the Spirit] after Death [of the flesh] (part 1 of 2)

I used to be so mad at God. So mad that I rebelled and refused to heed any type of love, correction, or mercy from Him. I went my own way and did my own thing…but you already know about those things and all I did in rebellion and ignorance towards God. Thinking I was hurting Him when I was really hurting myself more. What I don’t talk about often is the beautiful season I came into (most recently) when I really began to understand God’s love for me and I embraced it, instead of running from it. Ah, it is indeed beautiful. Just four years ago, I couldn’t have said this. Yes, I knew God but I was not completely in His will, still doing things my own way, still fighting against Him instead of flowing with Him allowing Him to do the work in me. As I think back, I see just how foolish I was and how difficult I made things for myself…hindsight is always 20/20 huh? (Proverbs 28:26)

This season, as my Father (Abba) has told me is a season of favor and blessing for me. He is pleased with me. Now I am NOT at all saying I am perfect and I am a saint in the likes of David, Moses, Abraham – not at all…but what I am saying is I am indeed a woman after the very heart of God. I adore Him. I love Him. He is my life, my passion, my dream….I think of Him all the time…. I want to be in His presence I want to know all I can – I want to sit at His feet and learn all I can like Mary (Luke 10:38-42), or lean on Him and call myself “His beloved” like John. (John 13:23) I am IN LOVE, MADLY (according to the world) with God. And it is awesome – what’s even more awesome, I am not ashamed. (Luke 9:26)

BUT, it did happen overnight. Absolutely not, for me. I am stubborn, I can be prideful, I can be self-sufficient apart from God, thinking I know best over Him – I can be hot-headed and uncompassionate, uncaring and defensive, totally overprotective in regards to self…and so much more that are outside of the will of God (1 John 1:8). But in spite of all this, God reached down to deliver me. To make me new, in Him. And for a long time, I fought against His love because I was so angry with God for the life I’d had. All the abuse, abandonment, pain, frustration, unjust situations, lack, rejection…it was SO much wrong in my life from day 1; I just couldn’t bring myself to fully submit to God because I didn’t trust Him. I didn’t see the “good” in Him. So I rebelled and received the due consequences of that rebellion in my life (1 Kings 8:46) hurting myself, grieving His Spirit and hurting others in the process.

Do you know what fighting God is like? Honestly, it’s like putting a loaded gun to your head but, expecting your enemy to die. (Isaiah 14:27) Yep, it’s that serious. I literally attempted to destroy myself running from God and I had no peace because, no matter where I went – the problem was there – ME.

Oh but today, (smiles) today people look at me and they see this woman who is so in love with God and who they believe is “spoiled” and “favored”. Some even have this warped view that I’ve been fed with a silver spoon all my life not knowing I’ve endured terrible things they couldn’t possibly imagine unless they were privy to the details of my life. I’ve had people say, they wish they could be “more like me” and they wish they had “what I have” – my relationship with God, the “anointing” they see on me and this and that – and though kind of them to say those words, I often think to myself – you don’t really want to know what I’ve had to endure to receive these things, to come to this place. And furthermore, if you did, would you still want it? Not many will say yes.

We all talk about the “FAVOR” of God but FAVOR doesn’t come without correction…and correction doesn’t come just to correct – it comes to bring repentance and to discipline. Discipline brings the righteousness of God, the strengthening of your faith, peace in Christ, joy in His strength and total trust in Him – IF (and only IF) you RECEIVE it (it being the discipline) (Proverbs 3:11-12). Sadly, so many fight against it, I know I did many times. I would get right to the point of testing to see how I would endure, if I had learned anything from all the studying, praying, public praise and worship, the sermons I watched, some I taught, books I read and all that other good stuff we do that is supposed to “prove” how “sold out” for God we are. (chuckles). And I’d still fail. Because there was no change in my HEART. (Proverbs 28:14, Luke 6:45, Matthew 15:18, Luke 21:34)

As soon as things got tough, as soon as things didn’t go my way or, the blessing and restoration didn’t come quick enough for me, all hell broke loose and I was the bearer of all the hell! Of course, we can all serve God and be holy as the pope on the Sabbath when things are going great; but, the true test of your faith, love, loyalty, and character in Christ comes when stuff just “aint” going right in your life even though you’ve been doing exactly what God has told you to do. Time and time again, God tested my faithfulness to Him and time and time again I’d revert back to my old worldy ways – selfishness, sneaky ways, lying tongue, bitterness, jealousy, malicious talk, gossip, slander, complaints, blaming everyone but myself and prancing around as if I was doing God a favor by even being “saved” in the first place. (2 Corinthians 13:5) (What kind of crap is that? How in the heck would it look for me to have a heart attack, be saved by a doctor, and then wake up and tell Him “You’re welcome” as if I had done HIM a favor? Well, I sure did it to God). 

Oh, we all love to hear about God’s blessings, favor, and goodness – but when it comes to that correction and discipline thing – we may hoop and holler in public -  but we can totally check out in the heart area - and I was one of those people. What’s worse, in private, I was a complete and total wreck, fuming at God – oh but in public I was all “PRAISE YE ALLAH FOR ALL IS WELL AND YOU ARE GOOD” (Matthew 15:8) (rolls eyes at myself)…seriously, God is indeed a gracious God because I often want to smite myself when I think about it and had He, I couldn’t have been mad. One moment, I’d be growing in my effectiveness in God and the next I was murmuring and complaining acting like I had no Spiritual discipline and no God to answer to for my behavior. (2 Corinthians 5:10) 

To Know God...You MUST Invest! No Shortcuts.

There are no short cuts to God...or the anointing of God. We all want everything so quickly now....we even try to put God on our time table, squeezing Him in here and there. Reading His word one day, when things are toughest, then going back to acting as if He doesn't exist...and we all know - those who say they believe and follow Christ - that spending time with God is the number one way to get to know Him - honestly, it's the ONLY way to get to know Him.

Many people refuse to pick up the word of God and read it for themselves because it is the one thing that separates the soul from the spirit. It is the one thing that will surely cause change, because when you come face to face with the Word and you spend time in prayer asking God to help you understand - you are then accountable for knowing the truth. So we make excuses for not developing a personal relationship with Him. This is why so many sit in the church for decades and continue to act as if they live in the world. Many, not all, churches have spent a great deal of time teaching people about God but not enough time teaching about RELATIONSHIP with God. So, we remain stagnant. Not walking in the fullness of God. Not shining the Light of God because we don't know how. I am not advocating against church, not at all....but I find that so many people will go to church to hear the sermon, hoop and holler, and then get out of church and never pick up a bible, spend quality time - key word quality, not rushed half hearted, distracted - in prayer with God. And certainly won't invest any time following up on whatever it is they learned in church.

We all run around accepting the "Favor" of God and "blessings" and talking about going to our "promise land" but yet, we refuse, absolutely refuse to invest in a real relationship with Him. One that transforms our lives and really reflects Christ for Who He is, in all His glory...and power. And it is sad. Very, very sad. Because if we truly invested in this relationship the way we invest and waste time in the things of the world, the church would operate in a way that would greatly impact the world...and millions would come to Christ....come begging...running...pleading to know Him. But, we're lukewarm. Serving God one moment but in the next compromising and making excuses for sin...refusing to give Him His time no matter how many times He encourages/nudges us to do so. And you know who this reflects poorly on? Christ.....because these days, people take Christ and His church as a joke simply because many "Christians" don't take God serious enough to serve Him with their whole hearts and invest in a true relationship with Him. We only seek God when all hell breaks loose...then when things are peachy, we put Him back on the shelf and go back to lip service as if He never even mattered.

Maybe this is why we are in a season of separating those who indeed maintain a true relationship with God from those who do not..... God wants to do miracles...He wants to bless greatly, He wants His children to walk in favor but many of us surround ourselves with and connect ourselves to individuals who refuse to heed the word of God and make every excuse in the world NOT to have a relationship with Him. This causes our blessings to become stagnant.... God isn't failing His children, He is indeed true, faithful, loyal and desires to bless us greatly....it is us who constantly fail at the same old things time and time again. We put everything before Him...entertainment, money, jobs, friends, etc....and then when things go awry we become angry with God...it's He that is not faithful. The reality is, it is us who are unfaithful to Him and we continue to be every time we make a choice to go about our day as if He doesn't matter....we treat God as an option, not a necessity. Well, I don't know about you, but I need God every moment, of every hour, of every single day - I need God for every aspect of my life from the simplest of choices to the Goliath like battles I face. We gotta stop playing with God people.... we gotta stop and if we're going to serve Him, we need to do so wholeheartedly. And to do so, we must first give God time and invest in knowing Him not just on Sundays, not through your pastor, grandma, aunt, momma, god-parent, or friends....but through God and God alone. INVEST IN GOD...the return is more than any could offer. It's not enough to just be a "good person" or just go to church....we MUST know God for ourselves.  Start today. Selah.

Isaiah 26:9 My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you. When your judgments come upon the earth, the people of the world learn righteousness.

Psalm 32:6 Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.

Deuteronomy 4:29 But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul

Isaiah 55:6 Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near.

Isaiah 45:22 "Turn to me and be saved, all you ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other.

Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'

Ezekiel 33:11 Say to them, 'As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways! Why will you die, O house of Israel?'