Why is God the last Choice? Try Him Today.... !

Before I came to God I tried everything else under the sun... I tried hedonism, I tried devil worship (yes I really did), I tried Wicca, I tried Voudou, I tried "Spirituality" - apart from God, I tried just cutting the whole spiritual aspect altogether in an effort to run away from God because I felt the church was hypocritical and it was a joke....you name it I probably tried it! But today, I stand as a living testimony that GOD SURELY LOVES ME...and HE LOVES YOU THE SAME. 

It's interesting that when seeking to fill that void in our lives - we will try all these other things...other "religions" but the first one most of us attack are "Christians". We've been hurt by people but we don't blame every single person we meet for that hurt (most of us) yet, we have one (or a few, as in my case) negative encounters with people who claim to know God and we immediately shut Him out and make a mockery of those who have relationship with Him. I am here to tell you, if you are searching, stop running from this person to that person, this church to that church, this "spiritual" thing to that "spiritual" thing - and run to GOD. NO, you don't have to identify yourself as "Christian" - Jesus never called Himself a Christian it was a name given by man...and you don't have to immediately jump into a church - Christ came and died so that you could have an intimate personal relationship with HIM, not so you could go to church and then go home and forget all about what He's done.

There really is power in relationship with Christ. Everything is not easy, it's not like a magic genie in a bottle where all your problems will suddenly go away and that's not to say you will never do anything wrong....but give God a chance. You've given everything else a chance but refuse to invest in God....what are you afraid of? That it might actually work? And if it doesn't work (though I promise you it will if you are sincere) what really are you missing out on? God's not asking you to do anything but accept Christ and trust Him..... it's not hard either, God desires honesty, purity, an open and mold-able heart - you can start right in your living room - I did.... 4 years ago God began to do a work in me and little by little it progresses.... so I encourage you...all of you...to the many on my newsfeed who are lost and searching, hurting, crying, jumping from this to that trying to fill a void that just won't be filled - GO TO GOD and if you don't understand how or what to do - watch the video below and then contact me, I'll be happy to help you. As said in this message, "I was rescued, so I come to rescue others who also suffer as I have". God Loves You and He Desires You forget all that stuff and junk that you think you know about Christ and really get to know the TRUE LIVING GOD.... will you let Him in?

Vexed...Putting My Anger to the Paper....

Vexed….

Recently, I had to let go of a friendship that I had been attached to for a couple of years. I did so under the order of God… not by my will but by His. He asked me to do this a long time ago but I refused because, well, I just didn’t want to. Always holding out and making excuses. I would often overlook the little things, writing them off as no big deal …but this time, things were different.

God called me to a deeper level of prayer with Him. Where I would simply sit and talk to Him, now I actually get on my face in passionate prayer to Him. Lately, when I pray about things in my spiritual life I see them happen immediately…. When I pray for other people, I see it happen almost instantaneously and it’s both amazing and sometimes disheartening because of what is being revealed.

The other day I prayed for God to show me my true friends from my enemies who pretended to be friends. Well, you know the old saying “be careful what you pray for because you might just get it”…indeed I did.

Thank God for women around me who have a heart for God and this is evident in their lives…they rallied around me in support and love along with our spiritual mother who also gave a word in prayer (though she knew nothing of what was happening, she gave me a word a few months back to do the very thing God would have me do). I was encouraged, strengthened and motivated to do what needed to be done.

I called this “friend” and explained what I had been told… I indeed let it be known that I wanted things to end amicably ---- BUT of course, having the relationship that we had, I knew exactly how everything would play out. I hoped it wouldn’t…I prayed it wouldn’t…I even almost got duped into believing it wouldn’t but sadly, it did.

Yes, I indeed was led to remove and cut off all contact with this individual immediately because as God showed me, He didn’t want me tempted to respond to the foolish reactions she would put on. He told me to be quiet and let Him deal with it and this I did. But this only made the situation worse in the natural realm and of course, the reaction to my silence was worse than it would have been had I gone ratchet city and acted like I had no home training…something I would have done five or six years ago….something, in fact, I had done on her behalf many times!  I now see, I should have stayed my behind out of it and let those young women deal with her as they saw fit – for they indeed saw what I could not see…smh, that’s what I get, always trying to “save” somebody.

Anywho. Tonight I am somewhat pissed – yep, that’s the word – P.I.S.S.E.D. Because God continues to tell me nope I can’t respond or react to her even though she’s gone on a slanderous campaign against me not only on a physical level – but in the spiritual realm. I’ve been called a “false prophet” (never have I ever identified myself as a prophet but I digress…) and “Power Hungry” and “Sneaky” (ahh, the bible tells us be innocent as doves but as shrewd as snakes! I am never sneaky but quite wise) and much more I can only imagine…. These things are being said indirectly on a public networking site so that they can get back to me and also around people we both know, I suppose to slander my reputation…and I guess get a rise out of me.

For a moment, it did. I was vexed – and my flesh said… if that’s where she wants to take it….let’s do that, indeed we can because I know things that I could share that would surely hurt if I said them and they would certainly cut deep. But of course, even your enemy knows you well – they’ve put on long enough to study you – and in knowing me, she knows very well that’s not my style. She also knows the God she now claims I am not following now is the very God that I love, honor, and fear enough to know better than to react to her actions…so that covers her from me reacting….but be not deceived… my God is not mocked, and neither will He allow His faithful children to be mocked either. J

God said He would take care of it and I believe it wholeheartedly! In fact, I know it is only a matter of time.  He warned for this to be done quietly, respectfully, and without strife but as He told me ahead of time, she wouldn't listen and He always know the truth. Indeed I know this is hurtful to both of us so I can’t imagine the pain and hurt she’s going through – the confusion. I understand all this and I don’t take that way…but I honored God by what I did and though some may not understand it and say “IT AIN’T OF GOD” (Funny how everyone knows God all of a sudden when they feel they have been done wrong, but don’t know a thing about Him any other time…mmmm) He does, and He is sure to show the truth and light in this situation.

In fact, I think by the reactions and foolish behavior of this particular individual – everyone can clearly see the truth from the lies.

I’ve not put up one single slanderous word against this young woman but I continue to be attacked and disgraced. People really should be careful who they speak against, God is not pleased with those who speak against His children with sheer pride and arrogance. He will indeed repay. Though my flesh tells me to say something…react…go blow for blow toe to toe…. It reminds me of things I could say and do that would surely hurt – deeply, I refuse. I will react in love…and forgiveness because I recognize the spirits operating behind this individual that she doesn’t even recognize. This isn’t the first time this has happened to her – and it surely won’t be the last if this type of behavior continues.

 I was feeling guilty at first…I was… but I now realize God said be quiet and sit back--- WATCH. In watching He showed me the reality of the situation. It was painful for Him to show it to me…to have to force me to see, this is why I separated you, this is not a friend, this is not family, this is not love. Defect before you are infected – is what He said.

My allegiance was to someone who had no true allegiance to me and I’ve known this for quite some time. But to know something…and then to see it in the flesh still doesn’t make it any less painful to come to terms with. I’ve had friends that I have had drag outs with but we never go so low as to throw low blows at the other when we stop speaking – because the friendship, the loyalty, and the love was real you know? But when someone can so carelessly begin to bring up such hateful words, you realize at that moment that these words were in their hearts all along, they just never had the opportunity to say them.

So, there are no tears shed. No surprises here. I realize now that prayer I prayed has been answered in all of this. And though I never meant for it to go this way…I now understand why so many before me did exactly what they did….they had the good sense to see what I could not… darn me for always trying to see the best in people. I now know this is who she has always been…and this is how she has always felt…and there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing at all. Though I may feel my time was wasted with her and my biggest regret is forgoing my first mind and often bringing her on board with things that I knew God gave to me and only me… I did and I’ll eat that. Because of my foolishness and my always trying to save and cover her – we are here and not only am I vexed by her actions but she has been hurt by mine and for that I am truly sorry– God directed or not, cutting someone off always hurts the person on the end that gets cut and left behind.

I will pray for her healing…if God allows me… I will pray for His mercy over her…if it be His will. But what I will not do is entertain the drama and the foolishness. I wrote this blog because God said write it out and as I hesitated, a sister (a dear, true sister) came and confirmed “write it out sis, that’s your gift and you can use that to express yourself” (she didn't even know I was thinking about it)…so I have done just that. I write out my anger, pain, frustration, retaliation and I release it all to My Father.

  If I have done anything sneaky, underhanded or evil in severing this relationship, if my motives were indeed impure and I am indeed a false prophet then let God deal with me ever so severely…. But if I am not…let every single word of discord, drama, failure, slander, disgrace, humiliation, pain, pride, ego, selfishness, wrath, and wickedness come down on her head and all of those foolish minions that follow behind her blindly trying to “help” as I once did.

I know who I am in God and so does she. It would be wise to be silent…as I always say “If you have nothing nice to say, pray about it”.

I see You Lord growing me in this area…and I know there have been moments even venting to my boo here at home where I have failed and said what I “Could DO” in anger – and in that you are not pleased so I ask forgiveness for that…help me to not even in a moment of frustration utter a word that displeases you in this situation. Help me to remember that You are indeed in control and You are dealing with those who come for me…. Father, I thank You for growth…because four years ago…this would have been a war…BUT GOD…I know now there will be no reconciliation, our season has ended. I appreciate the few moments we shared that were joyful and the things that were done to make me smile the few times they were done. Now as I enter into a new season of blessing, growth and service to the Lord…I bid the foolishness of my youth behind and whenever I think about her…I will say a prayer of grace and mercy (if it be God’s will) or I will sit in silence for moment and let the thought pass…. And maybe, just maybe, if it’s a good thought I’ll smile and miss her for a moment but, only for a moment.

What I will NOT do, is be dragged down into a backbiting, slanderous war of words launched out of pain…. for when God orders you to do something, there is no defense needed – this is why Jesus was silent before Pilot. And I shall be silent from this point forward on this matter at hand.

With love and blessings.

Proverbs 26:20-28 “Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;  they go down to the inmost parts. Like a coating of silver dross on earthenware are fervent[a] lips with an evil heart. Enemies disguise themselves with their lips, but in their hearts they harbor deceit. Though their speech is charming, do not believe them, for seven abominations fill their hearts. Their malice may be concealed by deception, but their wickedness will be exposed in the assembly. Whoever digs a pit will fall into it; if someone rolls a stone, it will roll back on them. A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin.”

Ahhh….I feel somewhat better. Thanks Abba! <3 

When God Says Cut It Off...CUT IT OFF.

When God tells you to cut something off...don't delay....don't think about it using your human mind/logic...wavering back and forth between what you THINK you should do based on what you see in the natural...we need to heed the order of God because it's God. He knows all things, things we couldn't possibly see. We often attack our problems and difficulties with a natural eye but we fail to see the spiritual aspect of it - and some of us, like myself, can see and understand the spiritual aspect of it but still fail to heed God because we're concerned about the natural - what people will say, how it will look, what others will think, the backlash and conflict that may come of it - BUT I AM HERE TO TELL YOU...WHEN GOD GIVES AND ORDER, IT IS INDEED FOR YOUR GOOD AND HIS GLORY. No matter how you may feel about it, heed it!

There are things going on in the spiritual realm right now - a shift in the atmosphere and God is surely cutting ties between those who are of God...vs those who are not. Many people claim to love and worship God but it is without substance....and you can tell this by their actions/reactions, attitudes, words, and fruit. Some of us God is removing to protect us from being affected by the judgment He is beginning to reign down - YES, if you stick around someone God tells you to get away from, you can indeed be affected by the judgment they receive.

Remember Lot and his family in Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 19)? God sent angels to tell them to leave so they would not also be destroyed - can you imagine what would have happened if they had stayed? And understand, when God says GO...and CUT IT OFF...that means do just that - don't be like Lot's wife who though she got out, perished with the city anyway because she looked back, longing for the city when God told them to go forward! You can't look back... you can't tarry and discuss....argue... you can't even worry and wonder what will happen to them - let God deal with that, because doing so will cause you to be destroyed just like them (Genesis 19:17, 26).

We can't always see what is operating behind something or someone with our natural eyes...and because of this, it is always important to trust God and do as He order you to do. Sometimes, as with Lot, we may hesitate but thank GOD if you are indeed His righteous child He will send His children to you (in Lot's case Angels) to grab your hand and push you out so that you are not consumed. Heed those warnings and be obedient. Many, many of God's children suffer simply because we refuse to honor God by cutting off the things and people that are not pleasing to Him and we continue a cycle of discord, depression, lack, and suffering - not at God's will but at our own will.

Right now, in this season. God has sent our His warning to the masses, many will hear...but not all will receive...and not all will heed and do as God said. I understand this because God did so with me and it took me a long time to heed, though I had received - I hesitated because in my own thinking, I didn't see how God could ask me to do such a thing. But NOT MY WILL LORD - YOURS. As we go into this new season, it is important to understand that we are in a time of judgment for those who are not of God will come under His wrath - you don't want to be affected by their judgment and you don't want to be hindered either. This is not to scare anyone this is the truth and we need to stop dancing around and sugar coating the things of God because doing these things keep people in bondage.

Surround yourself with the things and people of God.... we are no longer in a season where we can waver back and forth between the world and God... we will either serve Him with our whole hearts, or not at all. For darkness has no association with light... it is time to remove the darkness (those who you know are not serious about God, those things that are not pleasing to God, the excuses, the willful sin, and those God reveals to you to remove) from your lives and walk in the light. If you don't, you will be cut off....and given over to that which you continue to hold onto. Selah.

The "Not My Problem", Problem.

We truly live in a blind word. I realize, it is easier for the world to turn a blind eye and say – “Sandy Hook was all the result of one crazy kid and a gun fanatic mom” and cast if off their hands. It actually angers me. Why? Because with every person that buys into this foolishness…we fail to realize how easily it can happen again if we don’t ALL step up and hold one another [and ourselves] accountable to change.

No, I’m not some religious nut that’s going to say God took these kids home to punish these families and America because that is not the God I serve… but what I will say is America has played a major part in this being what it is today.

We used to be a nation that said “It takes a village to raise a child” now we say “That’s not my child, not my responsibility”. We used to be a nation that refused to put extreme violence, gore, sex, drugs, etc in the public eye for all to see- in fact, these things were shameful and those who did them hid in shame but today, everyone has freedom of everything and if you speak against it – you’re some right wing zealot or religious freak who is stuck in the “old days”.

Well let’s think about this clearly….while the old days definitely had some terrible things that I wouldn’t bring back for a second (segregation, denial of women’s rights, slavery, etc) they weren’t off the marker on everything. Violence was not as graphic on television and it was not glorified the way it is today. I remember when only married couples could sleep in the beds together and even they didn’t have hot raunchy sex scenes and talk openly (or joke) about sex the way they do now! Most of us would pass out if Bill and Claire Huxtable would have had some hot raunchy sex scene in the midst of such a family show! I couldn’t even imagine….gross! [These days, more and more children are pregnant and living with STD’s – but that’s another topic for another day…smh.]

Also in these days, movies are more and more violent – the more realistic the “better” in many eyes.  Even some of my favorite shows have sex scenes that make me feel like I’m still a little too young to be watching it, and these are shows that are readily and easily accessible to children – not to mention they are indeed watching it.  Our music is extremely sexual and violent and we make more excuses for people to go out and engage in these behaviors than we do actually standing and saying NO- THIS IS NOT RIGHT.

It is easier for us as a nation to say, this is the act of one random individual and we are not all responsible for ensuring this does not happen again, because if we actually admit that maybe…just maybe… we all play a role in it; we’d all have to look at our actions and the things we do and…MAKE A CHANGE….dun dun dunnnnnnn!

America never wants to take responsibility for anything. Not in our public lives…not in our private lives.  Every time we go see a movie that promotes violence and gore, when we turn a blind eye to the fights for gun control because we’re too busy or we just don’t care, when we see children doing wrong and we cast them off as thugs or say “it’s not my problem”….when we see tragedies like Sandy Hook, pray for a day or two, then go back to pointing the finger and move on with our lives – we are all responsible. Instead, we should be saying – what can I do to help stop these things? What is MY part?

It’s so easy to point the finger at the parents or one community and say, oh it’s their fault, but we all have a duty to do. Stop supporting the violence in music, movies and on T.V. – refuse to allow it in your homes or support it with your money and keep it away from your children [instead have meaningful conversations with them in regards to these things where they can gain understanding instead of see it in a glorified light] We all need to stand up for bullying and set a better example in regards to the matter, I personally know adults can be much bigger bullies than children and we do so in front of them. We all need to talk about and actively see to it that congress does something about these gun laws – even if you don’t have a gun or even if you think you do have the right to “bear arms”. We all have a responsibility! It’s not just one individual’s problem because if this were truth then we wouldn’t have so many incidents such as Sandy Hook happening in this country over and over again.

Even when we blame things like this on “mental illness” we are wrong! True a person may have a mental illness but did mental illness just come out three weeks ago? Is it new to 2012? NO! Mental illness has been around since the beginning of time and people weren’t walking in shooting up malls, schools, and stores and such. In the past, communities took care of those with mental illness, not just the families but entire communities, churches, schools, law enforcement knew them by name…and people did what they could to give them help – these days children start young picking on these kids at school, in the neighborhood and even adults have negative things to say…and then we all go home, close our doors and say “it’s not my problem”.

Blaming it on childhood abuse, drug use, emotional abuse and all these things is not the sole cause and that is why we spend so much time in speculation rather because no one thing can contribute to such a horrific action. It is a sum of many things and many people turning a blind eye and saying “it’s not my problem” - IS THE PROBLEM!

I have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, PTSD, and Depression by doctors. I even went into a mental ward once where I was help for observation because of suicidal/homicidal feelings after being continuously hurt and harmed by adults in my life.  I also grew up with abuse – sexual and emotional – I was bullied at school and I was also shunned and cast out by people (other students, people in the church, even my family at times – especially after I came out). There was a time when I was full of rage and I would have violent outburst and sadly there were more people willing to exploit and/or talk about me than there were to help – even within the family and churches. Thank God for the few friends who were supportive and even more, that God instilled something in me long ago that drew me back to Him and enabled me to open up to Him changing my life.

[Today I live medication free and I understand how to manage my illness without taking it out on others  - I also surround myself with people and things that help me remain calm – but if there ever should be a problem I and my family understand the signs and how to help]

It’s very easy for us to sit on our high horses and judge the individuals that go in and do these crimes but where was this judgment when the media started becoming more and more graphic in showing these things? Where was this judgment when video games geared are filled with violence and gore and then marketed to these young boys who think it “cool” to go in and emulate what they see on these screens? Where is our judgment when the media plasters story after story about the murderers and has little to say about the innocence lost and clamors to be the first to release the goriest details?

Damn we’re blind! Damn WE ARE BLIND! We shun those who ask for stricter laws and censorship on television and we embrace those who say, NO IT’S NOT US – IT’S THE INDIVIDUAL OR THE FAMILY – THEY AREN’T OUR RESPONSIBILITY.

Already people are out and about pointing fingers in regards to the tragedy at Sandy Hook. One minute it’s the media, the next it’s the mother who was a gun enthusiast, then it’s the government and gun laws. Well maybe, just maybe, for a second you could stop and think – what am I doing to contribute to this or – furthermore, to help stop it?

Stop supporting the violence glorified through music and media (and we know what I am referring too), don’t turn a blind eye to laws that need to be made to make it harder to get guns and make it easier to prosecute those who do, don’t turn a blind eye to children who are in tough situations or seem like they need help by saying “it’s not my problem”!

Even if your efforts don’t seem to make much of a difference or change you can know that you certainly aren’t one of the one contributing to it.

Get off your high horse and put your feet to the ground and DO SOMETHING!

Imagine what could happen, if we all did.

Now imagine what will continue to happen, if we don’t.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke)

Dear Daughter (From Abba - God the Father)

Dear Daughter, 

“The enemy is angry, the time is near and with that, so is judgment, not just of this world but of satan and all his deeds. Because of this he desires to do what he always does, kill, steal, and destroy all the more so. Of course he is not going to go after his own – rather innocence – because every one of My Children he takes he feels he has gained something and hurt Me. This is surely not about you all, this is why many of these attacks are not understood and why many of these cowards take their lives after the fact. There are spiritual forces of darkness at work here…but don’t be afraid because the forces that are with and in Me are greater than those that are with him. HE CANNOT WIN and HE WILL NOT.

How could this happen, you ask Me? Because this nation has worshiped and welcomed evil for ages long. You feed your children garbage on television, video games, movies – violence, sex, drugs – this nation has become desensitized to pain and anguish, the youth think it nothing more than an afterthought – they see it all the time and they now think it “cool”. Kids desire to be “martyrs of evil” rather than “martyrs of righteousness” and the enemy loves to use every one he can to push fear into the hearts of those left behind. You can’t worry about them though, My judgment will take care of them and they will pay for ever innocent life lost and all the pain and anguish they inflicted upon those they harmed.

I did warn you all, I tried so many times. But I am a just God and I don’t force myself upon anyone, neither will I force myself upon any nation. So my warnings are subtle but recognizable. Columbine was a warning, Virginia Tech was a warning, Wedgewood Baptist Church was a warning, Red Lake High School was a warning, The Amish school house was a warning, Westroads mall was a warning, Northern Illinois University was a warning…Oikos University, Aurora Colorado, and even more recently, Tuesday’s Clakamas Town Center was a warning….how many more innocent lives need to be lost before your nation realizes not only do changes need to be made without but also within? If September 11, 2001 didn’t shake you, bring You to your knees and back to Me….then how much death must come before You all get it?

This season is a season of judgment, as you studied the number 9 yesterday you learned that 9 represented the judgment of man and his works…but do not be afraid, do not be alarmed, I am with those Who seek Me, I am not distant and uncaring, My heart broke well before yesterday because I foresaw what was to come and I knew how it would break your hearts and the hearts of those directly affected. But your laws, your hate, your selfishness, pride, your lack of care for those who are mentally unstable, and lack of concern for those who are hurting and suffering, and more importantly - your lack of relationship with Me are all contributing factors to scenes such as this one – and then there’s that spiritual aspect at work again. It is very important for those who are in Me to trust Me and seek Me daily about their lives, their comings and goings, and their affiliations these days. Trust Me, no matter what reports may say, none of the babies suffered, My angels were on charge well before things started and I snatched the souls of those babies before they could feel the pain. They came right into rest, where they cannot be harmed, and though it hurts to hear this – especially for the parents- do not mourn for them, for they are in the better place. It is they who should mourn for You all. Especially those who are not in Me.

You and many of My children keep asking Me to show Myself strong, You are worried that people will begin to doubt and turn from Me when they see things like this. You are fearing that people will begin to curse God and cast Me aside – well My children, I am here to tell You, they already have. But do not worry, just as you will see terrible things, so shall you also see My strength, My power, and My everlasting Might. My promises cannot be broken for whatever I speak is truth…whatever I think comes into being. I promise You …a better day – a better life is ahead where you will dwell with me in peace and safety away from the evil that kills, steals, and destroys.

I AM comforting the families and I will work all things together according to My will. You do as you are called on this earth and speak My word – even when unpopular – and serve my people – especially the heartbroken, the downtrodden, and those who have been shunned and cast out. For I AM doing a new thing and many who claim to be of Me will be revealed false…and many whom people think could never be of Me, will be revealed true.

Be not deceived My dear, sweet children, for I AM not mocked. I AM never surprised. I AM always in control. All that evil sows it shall reap and all who willingly allowed themselves to be used by evil will received their due harvest on that great and terrifying Day of Judgment. 

But for now, there is much work to be done and little time to complete it. I need all of My children to focus on Me and remain in Me.

I am with You always.

Do not be afraid. 

Do not fear. 

Trust me.

I AM not delayed.  

I love You.

Abba (Father God).

Dear Abba....

Dear Abba (Father God),

Yesterday evil struck and it struck without caution, care, or concern. The enemy is so mad right now because he knows the time is near and his time is short…. so he’s determined to take as many people down with him as he can. I sat and watched the news yesterday, all I could think about was the little bodies, the little fingers…toes… faces….

I used to teach children in Pre-K, Kinder, 1^st, 2^nd grade, I still remember their little voices and faces….the bubbly smiles and running into the classrooms each morning with expectations of safety and love. The most children fear are boogy men under their beds and in the closets, or someone stealing their juice box or favorite crayon…or even worse – a time out during recess…lol.

But in this day, this age….children fear much worse. Much, much worse.

I lay awake last night just thinking and thinking of the families- those mommies and daddies – sitting waiting to hear their child had been identified, knowing their child was no longer here, but still having to sit and wait – until it was “official”. Many parents knew it to be official after showing up at the fire station and watching numerous families being reunited with their children except them….as the horror set in that their children were among those who had been taken home to a place of peace where no one could harm them – their worlds (the parents) became filled with horror and hell.

I think of the teachers and administrators who stood in the face of violence, thinking of the children first – and sacrificing their lives….their families filled with devastation as they learned their family too, would not be coming home. Instead, they died protecting [or attempting to protect] the very children they loved and doted on. Who knew on that day, when they walked into Sandy Hook that morning, it would be the last time they would…..

It’s a hard pill to swallow Father, as people begin to ask “why” and “how could You let this happen”. They always blame You after the fact when You’ve been here all along begging, warning, literally urging people unto You. Of course these children had nothing to do with anything, they were innocent lives lost at the hands of another child – yes child – who was obviously without peace in his own life. While I am sure You welcome all those who turn to You during this time….I know You’d much rather all had turned before such innocence was lost in this world. It’s a very sad thing to know our nation must be rocked by such senseless and tragic violence before people stop and begin to think about You.

Yesterday I watched as the bandwagon parade started, everyone became a spiritual/biblical/prayer expert for about 1-2 hours….then as the evening went on, people began to get back to their regularly scheduled programs as if nothing had happened. This morning, for some, You’d think nothing ever happened at all. Where’s the compassion?

I know, we can’t dwell on the situation forever but you remind us during times like these, we should mourn with those who mourn out of deep compassion – empathy – out of a spirit of love. I was so shook to the core that I couldn’t focus on anything else yesterday…even in my dreams were the babies…the families…. But the masses go on…today they continue their holiday parties, shopping, travel, and other insignificant plans as if nothing ever happened. Furthermore, of the masses that posted about You yesterday and all we should do….today You are back on the back burner – tucked away until the next big tragedy or personal need arises at which that time, You’ll be pulled out and paraded around like a prized possession. Everybody loves You, so they say, but most of us sure have a funny way of showing it.

I know You’ve been preparing me, not only me but all of us who seek You diligently, for these coming days. You’ve been warning me so much over these past few weeks but to see it unfold is truly horror…As soon as the reports started to come out, I thought of Jeremiah and the chapters you had me reading and Isaiah the promises You made. I trust You Lord but I am very honest in saying this time, this day in age, is surely terrifying and my heart cries out to you for comfort and strength – not only for myself but for all Your children – and even more so for the families affected by the evil that dwells here.  

People pray for “peace on earth” and peace will come but certainly not to this earth. Those who worship You in spirit and truth know that peace is reserved for the new heaven and the new earth for a time after Christ returns and the final battle has been fought and we all have been judged according to our works and deeds. Until then, we will be surrounded by chaos in a world that both celebrates and welcomes it….until it harms someone – then we all want to ask “why”.

I’m sure some right wing nuts will come out and find a way to blame this on “gay marriage” and “American’s treatment of Israel” and other reasons to make them feel better about themselves but to be honest, this country has been going to hell in a hand basket long before any of these issues came to light. We’re greedy, we’re selfish, we’re arrogant and prideful. We take You out of the schools, break down Your commandments from capitols, and anyone who speaks about You and disagrees with mainstream views is considered a “zealot” who is “out of touch” with the “times”. And then, when children are killed we ask, Lord help us. Mmph, America.

We have a long history of blood on our hands, heads, and greed in our hearts. We help “others” but we don’t do nearly as much as we could – certainly evident by the recent elections and people debating over having to pay more to take care of “poor” people – classifying them all as lazy bums who just want a handout – but isn’t that what Your children are called to do? We want to lock our borders down to all foreigners – even those who really are seeking refuge and a better life from third world countries that suppress and harm them – as if we ourselves are not all foreigners to this land, stolen from the Indians who were here before us. Did you not call us to care for the strangers in the land to show them the love of God as You have shown us? I am sure You did…I am sure You did.

When September 11, 2001 happened, the world was at Your feet. Then life got back to normal and people got back to themselves, forgetting You. In more recent days, we’ve seen mass shootings for what seems like every month…more in this year than I’ve ever seen in my life time….one would think, we would have been more vigilant and turned back to You before this…but as time goes on, people forget about the families, the victims, the cities, the pain and they move on…we’re all some bandwagon jumpers, we can’t stay focused and really bring any real healing and help to the communities because we don’t stay with one long enough to see it through. I remember the Aurora Colorado shooting….but I can’t say I’ve heard much about it since that fateful night…the mall shooting Tuesday, which could have been worse had You not seen to it the gun would jam. I’m sure this school shooting may have been worse had You not seen to it the SWAT teams, Law enforcement, and brave teachers, students, and any others who helped reacted as quickly as they did.

I know many will ask why didn’t You just stop it Lord, why didn’t You warn us, something? Even I sat yesterday and asked, why the innocent people Lord, why not go after evil people doing evil things? Why come after innocent people who are going about their days unprepared to defend themselves…and in this case, babies who have no idea how and no power to defend themselves from such a horrific attack. How do You explain to a mother that God will comfort you as she asks why didn’t God save my child? How do you offer prayer to someone who yells back at you I don’t want your prayers I want my baby back? And honestly, I can’t answer those questions…nothing I say will be a good enough answer to suffice or explain because I don’t know and can’t know – who understands the mind of God….but I know what You did tell me: (Click here to read next post). 

22 ways to Give God His Time in your "busy" day! (God For Sinners Devotional Series)

This is part two of the post "Do you tell yourself, you're to busy for God? pt 1 (God for Sinners Devotional Series)"

Here are 22 ways to overcome the excu- I mean, the "reasons" we give for not making time for God:

1. Wake up 30 minutes – 1 hour earlier each day: Set your alarm and get UP and spend time in prayer and read a chapter in the bible – even if you don’t get it, God will honor that investment and He will help you grow in this area.

2. Worship God during your morning routine/night – as you get ready in the morning or for bed at night, play worship music instead of “Everyday I’m hustling” (just an example). Turn of the morning shows and turn up the Lords music and worship Him.

3.  Worship and praise God in the car – we spend so much time in our vehicles often talking about nonsense to someone or listening to secular music. Turn off the music and talk to God, let this be intimate time between Him and you, pray, praise, worship, sing (even if off tune!) and honor God with that time. For those who ride public transportation, this is a great time to read the word as you wait for/ride the bus! Trust me I used to do it myself when I was catching the bus to work (and this was during the days I wasn’t even honoring God with my life so if I can do it then, you surely can do it now!).

4. Purchase sermons on CD or Tape – they are everywhere, you can get the word of God on CD and play it as you ride to work, as you sit in your office (if allowed), or you can even listen on your lunch break if you need to. Speaking of which –

5. Spend time with Him on your lunch break – most people get 30 minutes to 1 hour for lunch. Instead of talking on the phone, talking to co-workers, or waiting in line at a restaurant or fast food place – use that time to read the bible, pray, and worship/praise God – even if you have to go sit in your car simply stay at your desk!

6. Set aside time after work, before going home – Stop at your favorite park, café, or just sit in your car for a while when you arrive home if you know you will be bombarded as soon as you walk through the door – trust me, anything that  needs to be done can wait. Take this time to read the word, worship and talk to God (pray). He will greatly appreciate it!

7. Download sermons and praise/worship music to your iPod – Listen to it as you work out if you go to the gym, if you walk or run in the evenings, or if you simply take the kids out to play, as they play – spend time with God.

8. Hang up the phone – I know people that live with the phone glued to their ear, shut off your phone for 30 minutes – 1 hour a day and use that time you’d normally spend talking to someone with God. If you can talk to others for hours on end – you certainly have time to talk to God/study His word!

9. Turn off the TV – Hey I understand, I enjoy TV myself but one of the major complaints I hear is how there is “nothing on”… give up 30 minutes – 1 hour a day (that’s 1- 2 sitcoms or 1 episode of Law &Order for you TV buffs out there) Whatever you miss, you can catch on DVR, ON DEMAND, HULU, NETFLIX or all the other avenues to watch TV free nowadays. God will honor you for honoring Him.

10. Get an accountability partner – find someone in your life who does spend regular time with God and ask them to help you with this commitment and help hold you accountable, this can be by them studying with you until it becomes a part of your regular schedule or by simply contacting you to talk about what you’ve learned that day through your time with God. Make sure it’s someone who is not afraid to hold you accountable – someone who can encourage you to maintain your commitment and let you know when you are falling short.

11. Set your boundaries – if you live with others, let them know you are setting aside time for God during a specific period (stick a note to the door or tie a ribbon on the handle, get a door hanger or something) and make it known you are not to be disturbed during this time except in cases of serious emergency (death, hospital, police beating down the front door (Lord forbid)) asking them to take message for any phone calls and to let visitors know you are not to be disturbed. Whatever questions, concerns, or needs/wants they have (yes even your kids) can wait until God has His time.

12. Subscribe to online devotionals (for email) or install apps on your phone – There are TONS of applications and devotionals that can be found online – you can even have them delivered to your inbox or to your phone directly. This will not only serve as a reminder to you each day but it will also give you a starting point to help you develop your studies while growing you in God. I’ll post some for you in a separate post to get you started.

13. Take a bathroom break – yep! I said it, the bathroom is one place most people can find a little private time. If necessary, go in the restroom and sit on the side of the tub (or put the toilet seat down and sit) use that time to spend with God (even if you can only get 15 minutes in) reading His word and in conversation (prayer) with Him.

14. Go to bed a little early – turn in about 30 minutes early while everyone is still up and moving around in the home, especially if you live with your mate, instead of talking or watching tv until you sleep, take some of that time and talk to God, read the word, and get some worship in – not only are you honoring God but you’ll find your sleep sweeter (trust me, I’ve tried it, it works!). If you don’t fall right off to sleep afterwards, that’s ok.

15. Skip the hangout – you don’t have to go out every time everyone else does. It is okay to skip the hangout, or after work cocktail, and stay in to give time to God. He will greatly appreciate you placing Him first.

16. Turn off Facebook/Computer – if you spend a lot of time on the computer playing games, watching YouTube videos, trolling Facebook, etc.  you certainly have time to give to God if you prioritize. These things aren’t necessities in your life so cutting back on them to give God His due time is sure to bless you and strengthen your relationship with God. God will honor you for honoring Him by giving up these distractions.

17. Worship while you work – if you have to come home and cook, clean, iron, wash, pack lunches, etc for family (or yourself) put on your iPod or turn on a sermon to listen to while you do it. Talk to God throughout the day giving thanks, seeking His will, and honoring Him in word and deed.

18. Put the Word of God where you can see it – Sometimes, you have to put a reminder in your face – write scripture on index cards (or if you’re the artsy crafty type make beautiful art that includes scriptures) and hang them around your home where you will see them often. Put them in your car, at work on your desk, in purse, lunch bag/box, gym bag, etc.

19. Get the family involved – one summer I was able to get into God’s word more because my [god] daughter and her friend came to my home and I made it a point to have bible study with them day. It got to the point where if I missed it or took too long they’d ask (sometimes not for the right reasons LOL) “Are we having bible study today?” This would always shake me to move and get my studies done. If you and your mate, you and your children, or any other family (this can be friends) will agree to do it with you, not only will it honor God but it will strengthen your relationship too! (If you don’t have anyone who will serve as accountability for the family to ensure this is done, bring in an outside accountability partner to help and even if your family members don’t show up – you still do it and honor God anyone, you have to answer for YOU before God.).

20. Finally LIGHTEN UP- so many people fail to spend time with God because they have this set idea of how it should look or what they should do. They think because so and so spends hours with God or does xyz when they spend time with Him they have to do that to – but this is not so. Each relationship with God is unique between God and that individual – the common denominators are honoring God with TIME, READING/STUDYING His WORD, and PRAYER (conversation) with God. God only asks that you give Him the time, HOW you come to Him, study, pray, is not set in stone –you give Him the time and He will lead you. And stop thinking prayers have to be all “the and thou” Talk to God with regular conversations as you would a friend (with respect and honor of course), you need to be comfortable with Him, there’s no point in putting on a front and acting “holy”, He knows the real you already so you’re only fronting for yourself – Go before God naked (open and honest about all things and all your shortcomings) and you will find yourself growing in God.

21. ASK GOD FOR HELP – on of our (humans) biggest failures is that we try to do things (even for God) on our own. There is NOTHING we can do without God, even getting closer to Him requires prayer and reliance on God. Seek God and ask Him to give you a heart to read His word and to help you set aside time each day for Him. If you have to start small (15 minutes) and work your way up – that’s OK! Ask God to help! Trust me HE WILL.  Ask others who have a relationship with Him to pray for you as well, when you seek God, He takes notice and He will always help you come closer to Him if you ask Him. Then when you ask Him for help, make an ACTIVE EFFORT to do what you are saying you want to do. Don’t just sit around praying and never moving to action.

22. If you fail, GET BACK UP AND START AGAIN – the worse problem is people starting to get close to God and then missing a few days and giving up completely. Oh the enemy LOVES this. So what you made a mistake, you missed a few days, that’s why God gives us grace and forgiveness, repent for neglecting God and jump right back in! Trust me He’s not one to throw it back in your face, He’d rather see you get back up and keep going diligently – the righteous aren’t without sin, they just know that when they do fail, they can get back up, seek God’s forgiveness, and move forward in confidence knowing God is with them.

4 years ago, I started getting into the word of God again, after leaving Him and getting off into witchcraft and all types of idol worship. I started with a simple 15 minutes a day, I purchased a bible that had devotionals in it and I made an effort to do one a day, then I moved to a chapter a day. Was I always consistent? NOPE. There were some days/weeks I would go without uttering a word to God nor picking up His word to study…but I would always get back to it after I would come to God for forgiveness (me being hardheaded it was normally after something happened or I wanted something, and I needed God’s help…smh, thank goodness for His deliverance!). 

Eventually, I started growing and I started to pray for a desire to be closer to God, I started to seek Him for a thirst for His word…the more I learned, the more I wanted to learn, the closer I got to Him, the closer I wanted to get! Today, I enjoy spending time with Him so much that I could shut myself off for hours at a time, days even, and just indulge in my sweet, sweet Savior! I’m not saying I don’t still have my days where I miss picking up the word, I’m not perfect and I can also get distracted, but I don’t allow the enemy to guilt me down and separate me from God.

And you don’t have to be separated either. The power in God comes from KNOWING GOD…but to know Him you must invest in Him with your time…. God is calling His children back to Him….will you answer?

Start today. 

Do you tell yourself, you're to busy for God? pt 1 (God for Sinners Devotional Series)

Many people make excuses when it comes to spending time with God…they know they need to do it but, they always find a reason NOT to do so.

Without spending time with God you are unable to develop a relationship with Him and it grieves God to watch us give our time to other people and/or things but continuously exclaim “But I just don’t have time”. In reality, none of us are so busy that we just don’t have time to spend with God – in fact, if you are reading this right now it is clear you have some time at some point in the day – you find time to eat, shower, go to the restroom – and enjoy entertainment and rest, therefore, we all have time if we make it.

How arrogant are we that we continue to expect God to bless and prosper us when we fail to do our part which more than just acknowledging Him (even those who don’t follow God do that) but to HONOR Him in every part of our lives – this includes TIME.

I always say, if someone were to constantly claim they had no time for YOU, eventually you would begin to take that personal and feel slighted, after a while, you’ll probably remove yourself from this individual altogether or you’ll spend a large amount of time resenting this person. Either way, it will result in a breakdown of the relationship because you recognize someone that loves you – invests time in you.

So why do we continue to think it ok to NOT give God His due time but we continue to pray to receive His blessing, guidance, protection, deliverance? Be not deceived my dear sisters and brothers, God will not be mocked – whatever you sow, you will reap…and if you sow more time into yourself, your needs, your desires, your wants – and things/people of the world over God – you will not reap the blessings of God in your life. For a moment, God will give you grace – but we are entering a new season, a season in which God is saying I am separating those who love Me with their whole hearts from those who simply “acknowledge me” or “forsake me altogether”. The acknowledging type are those of us who KNOW God, who have accepted Christ, who say we want to build a relationship with Him but we make no actual effort to do so because “we don’t have the time” or “we forget”.

God desires none should perish, so He continues to send grace and word to motivate you unto Him…today, He has asked me to write 22 ways in which you can begin to develop a relationship that includes time with God….I pray you read and heed them, if you are having difficulty with this in your life…..God is will not continue to listen to the excuses that allow you to put Him on the back burner until you need or want something – HE WILL TURN HIS FACE and leave you to the idols that take up your time and attention, and those He has sent to encourage, uplift, and help you grow in Him will also be removed, that you may indulge in the life you choose over God , since you don’t have the time. 

See the next post for the 22 ways! 

Idle Gossip....My Mouth Can Condemn Me, So Can Yours! (God for Sinners Devotional Series)

 I have a big problem with idle chatter about things…and/or people (especially people) that upset me. I’ve heard God dealing with me on this lately, explaining to me as a loving parent how my words can hurt people much more than a physical blow – because words can leave lasting damage. I thought I’d understood but today God clearly convicted me in this area because it isn’t that I didn’t understand – but as most of us do – I found a way (or so I thought) to say what I had to say without hurting anyone’s feelings. 

See I get this thing called “righteous indignation” as a dear sister (Thanks Sharenell, awesome woman of God right there!) put it to me one day. When I see people completely throw caution to the wind and put their trust in themselves, forsaking and/or mocking God – OHHHHHHHH BOY IT IRKS ME SO! And I get upset! And I don’t mean just a tad bit upset, it runs me hot, because I love God so and I know how good He is and I really dislike seeing people treat Him just any kind of way ---- or even more so as if He just doesn’t exist. 

I also get angry when people’s actions don’t match their words…when they claim love or friendship/family yet their actions show a completely different attitude. I’m very sensitive to people treating you like you’ve done something wrong when you’ve done nothing at all or all you’ve done is try to help….and it’s one thing to treat me that way – but when I see you treat OTHERS that way, it sets me off! Yet again, that “righteous indignation” rises up and I go off! 

I used to think simply because I was venting my frustrations to close friends or my spouse that it didn’t really matter if I wasn’t saying anything wrong directly to that person you know? Plus I would tell myself the people I was venting to clearly have their own opinion of the individual so it’s not technically “character assassination” if the people I’m talking to won’t look at the person I’m talking about any differently.  But….not so. 

Last night I told God I had a problem…and I told Him to make the solution plain…now the problem I was referring to was something totally different – whereas the problem GOD was looking at was my mouth! This morning in my devotional He made it very clear! As soon as I clicked on the crosswalk devotional series (Girlfriends in God "When You're Wrong, Even Though You're Right" by Wendy Blight) I was hit with this scripture, 

“Do not let ANY unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” ~Ephesians 4:29 

Boy, talk about a convicting moment.

I had a choice, either I could overlook the lesson and act as if My Father was not speaking directly to me about my terrible behavior – or I could listen and allow Him to move me to change. See, every part of our lives belongs to God – especially our mouths! We are blessed with the gift of speech and we are to use it to worship and praise God, encourage and uplift others, and share His good Word everywhere we go. That’s the purpose of God giving us speech – not to sit up and talk about people no matter how right we may be. 

And that’s the thing, God said my anger and feelings were both justified, in fact I was right in what I was saying – however, that does NOT justify my behavior and my conversation and in that, God is not pleased.

Sometimes as believers in Christ, we can convince ourselves that our conversation about another is not “gossip” but rather just us expressing our feelings and when people around agree with us, we tend to think ourselves all the more right but God doesn’t care about all that. God calls us to righteousness in every area, including our speech, because we need always remember we are setting an example to those we speak to. Imagine how it looks when you, the one everyone knows, KNOWS GOD, sits around in idle gossip…what kind of example are you setting then? 

I now understand, not only is the gossip idle talk and a waste of words that gets our minds off God, but it also sets a bad example for those we are talking to who may look to us as spiritual leaders and examples of Christ.  We need always be mindful of the things we say and use our words only for that which is good and edifying, giving glory to Christ. It’s the little things that grow into big things that begin to slowly separate us from God…. 

Let us use our words to glorify God and God alone! Your anger and passion for God and for others to treat you with kindness and love is not in itself a bad thing, but don’t allow the enemy to use these things as a stumbling block to get you into gossip because the more you open your mouth to talk about others, the less you speak about God, and the further your thoughts go from Him. 

Will you join me in committing yourself to using your words for God and God alone? Can you commit to speaking only what is edifying and uplifting? Useful for building each other up and NOT tearing one another down – even if in private?

 As God told me once before, “if you don’t feel you have anything nice to say – pray for them and tell ME (God) how you feel.” We don’t HAVE to talk about people, we just enjoy it, but God has called His children to a higher standard and we must obey. Don’t get caught up.

Scripture References:

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 

Proverbs 21:23 “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”

Proverbs 12:18 “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

James 3:2-10 “For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell...”